Beware-This Is The Real Me

 Something has set me off. I’m just going to forewarn you. So yea, I’m a red head and I’ll be the first to admit, I have a temper. But that is me. And that is one thing what makes me who I am. Maybe it’s time to introduce you to the real me. The real Kelly. Beware though, I’m only me, and I cannot be everything everyone expects.

  My name is Kelly, and I live in North Carolina. Do I like it here? Eh. It’s a take it or leave it. I long to be somewhere else, but that will happen later. Sometimes I get extremely frustrated by being here. Honestly some people here think they are living by the rules of the past, where blacks were treated worse than dirt and not really regarded as human. The somewhere I long to be is more open to human behaviors and lifestyles. People’s minds are more open to seeing life in more than just black and white.

  I don’t see in black and white. I see many colors. I see cheery yellows and rejoice in them. I see lush, vivid green and smile. I see darks like gray and black and feel my mood change in the tiniest of ways. I see all people as human, no matter their color, sex, or lifestyle preference. Since I’ve started writing I try to see more than what is on the outside. I want pieces of what is inside. I want to see a mother’s love for her child in her eyes. I want to see tears of joy, or sorrow. That is a small part of me.

  I, Kelly, am extremely shy. The Charmed One tells me I have come a long way in that department, but I tend to wonder. Ask any of the people I used to work with. Some people have even mistaken me for being mean because I am so quiet. Trust me when I tell you, I’m not mean, unless you make me that way.

  I’m very personal. Not very many people know the whole Kelly. I don’t feel comfortable with many people knowing the real me. It’s an acceptance thing with me. I guess in a way I feel that if people knew the real me they wouldn’t accept me. I also know that is not fair on my part, but I’m sorry. My heart has been hurt enough in the past to make me this way.

  Here are parts of me. I love nature and animals. I do want to be a writer in the worst way. Sometimes when I post a picture or write something on a social network my words may not be the most descriptive. I’m sorry. Every time I sit and write a blog or a novel I try and pour my heart and soul into it. If I’m not perfect on something social networking wise- sorry, I’m human. To the person who dropped me from Instagram after I posted a picture of a shot and beer I was drinking the other night because it was the two year anniversary of my brother’s death- I’m sorry. I like to drink. That is a small part of me. Every picture I posted until that point was either of places I’ve visited or flowers. Sorry to give someone another actual piece.

I loved kayaking... on land!

  Here’s more of me. I grew up in a rural area in New York. I had three older brothers, and most of my neighbors were boys. If I wanted to fit in I had to learn how to play sports and be tougher than most other girls. I don’t wear frilly dresses. This is the first time in my life I’ve had long hair. Take from that what you may. Many other people do. I try not to assume. I have no idea what happens in someone else’s life behind closed doors.

  I love to make people laugh. I’ve even been honored with such dubious awards like the Class Clown! I like sports. Hockey is my favorite of all. As a matter of fact the hero of my second book is a hockey player dealing with post concussion syndrome. That book is a contemporary romance. That’s right I love to read and write romance. I also love to garden. The heroine of my first novel owns an ornamental tree and shrub nursery. The research for that one consisted of eight years running a nursery. Again, this is just me. Since leaving that job I have gained ten pounds. Am I happy about that? NO. My BF’s husband saw me and said, “Wow, you’ve gained weight.” Yep, thanks for the reminder.

  Beware- I am just me. I cannot be anything more than that. I may not be a true writer in every sense of the word. Yet. Give me time. I may be not what you expected, but do you see things in black and white or color? I may be against things you stand for. If that is the case I am sorry. I’ll miss you if you don’t come back.

  I try to be a good, kind person all day every day. I realize that everyone has their own story, and their own lives. What happens behind their doors is their business. I try to accept people for who they are as an individual, even if we don’t agree on every subject. I know that nobody is perfect. I’m far from it, and never strive to be perfect as an individual. I’m flawed in many ways, and admit to it.

  There’s my rant. A little get to know me session that maybe I went too far on. Oops.

  Do you have times when you just want to scream because something sets you off? Do you let things get to you, or do you brush them off? Do you see a lot of prejudice in your area of the world? Do you know me any better? Do you want to know less of me?

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