Thursday, June 12, 2014

Facepalm Moments

    I sometimes struggle with my own personality flaws. I try to be a good, kind person. It’s just sometimes that little inner voice in me (I call her my other personality, er, She-devil) takes over. There are times when I witness something and I’ll try to make it a pleasurable time. Suddenly whamo, strange and funny thoughts run through my head. Before I know it that other personality chimes in and makes my kind thoughts turn to bad ones.

  For instance, I was working outside the other day. I was making some containers to liven up the deck and patio. I live in a pretty quiet neighborhood so I was enjoying the peaceful tranquility of the numerous birds and their songs. I often whistle back trying to make a conversation, but that is for another blog. I was putting the final touches on one container when I heard the unfamiliar sound of click clack, click clack. I straightened up and looked toward the road where the sound was coming from. To my surprise there were a handful of people riding horses down the road. The good me thought this was cool. How nice to be able to go out riding with friends. It just wasn’t something you see every day.

  Then one of the horses veered off the road and came down into my yard. At that moment She-devil took over. I watched as the woman rider tried to control the pretty horse. All my inner wicked personality could think was I hope that horse doesn’t mess up the yard. Then my thoughts went to, I hope that horse doesn’t relieve itself out there. I’m sure they would just keep going and leave me the mess. Then within seconds all I could envision is my dogs rolling in it. Ugh. So I kept watching this horse saunter across the yard and wonder why the woman on it isn’t leading it back up to the road. Well, then I witnessed her lifting a blue can to her lips. As she did she seemed to almost fall off of the back of the horse. She-devil shouts, OMG, she’s drunk! Only in the backwoods town that I live in. The poor horse can’t make it back to the road because the one with the reigns can’t see straight. After this incident that song “I’m From the Country,” by Tracy Byrd ran through my head. All.Day.Long.

  That same day I had weed wacked my yard. It took two hours. I had also sprayed the weeds. That took an hour. You see, my house sits on two acres. I thought having land was what I wanted. At the end of that day She-devil spoke again and said, what were you thinking? You’re not a spring chicken. How long do you think you can handle this? I came back to normal, sane, Kelly for just a second until that voice came back and said, oh well, you’re selling it soon. It’ll be alright!

  I had a two facepalm day that day. It happens often with me. I am just thankful that my inner self stays there most times. Otherwise I may have a permanent red palm print on my head because of it.

  Do you have an inner self that is not nice? What incidences have made you facepalm? 

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