Monday, March 26, 2012

Stupid Genes

  I sat here the other day and thought, Ever since I started that blog I haven't had hardly any dysfunction in my life. I mean really, all sorts of weird things normally happen to me, friends, or family. Lately though...nothin. Wouldn't you know as soon as that thought entered my head, BAM, dysfunction reminds me it's just around the corner and is willing to leap out and grab me at any given time? 

  Ah yes, this time dysfunction appeared in the form of a stupid gene. I seem to have them pop up at certain times in my life. This stupid gene is the one that says, "That is do-able." Then I try it and it turns into a catastrophe that ends up with me in the emergency room, or urgent care. Yup, that's the gene that hit me, or shall I say bit me, the other day. It has been a few years, so I should have known something was due to come this way.

  There was one time years ago that I came home from work and found some Christmas lights had fallen from a window. Being in a hurry I didn't want to get a step ladder, so I grabbed the nearest thing I thought would hold me up for the two seconds it would take to fix it. My stupid gene kicked in, and I grabbed a ceramic two foot tall decorative vase. I turned it over and stepped on it. Within seconds I had the lights rehung, and then it happened. The vase collapsed into pieces, sending me tumbling to the ground. Ultimately I left the ER with twenty-four stitches in my leg where it had been sliced open by the angry vase. Oh yeah, I had a tiny fracture in my foot as well.

  A few years later my parents visited for Christmas. My mother's employer sent her a beautiful Thomas Kinkade flower arrangement. It had a collectible church as the centerpiece. Needless to say the arrangement was left at my house. It was too big for them to take back to NY, along with all their other presents. Eventually the flowers faded and it was time for me to throw the arrangement away. I tried to remove the ceramic church, but it wouldn't give. It wouldn't even budge. I worked and worked it. Finally all at once it gave way, sending the cross at the top of the steeple right into my chin. That would've easily been another trip to the ER. I'm sure it would have been a two or three stitch fix. I just bandaged it, and wear a scar on the very bottom of my chin because of it.

  And so the other day I tried to get the yard mowed before our daily afternoon thunderstorm hit us. I was given a metal welcome mat a long time ago as a gift. It has followed me from house to house. Last fall I put it down in front of my potting shed. Well, it was embedded into the ground, and wrapped up nicely with weeds. I wanted it out of there so I could mow where it was. I bent down and tried to pry it up with my right hand, my predominant hand, my strong hand. I tried...until I felt a tearing from my two middle fingers all the way to my forearm. Ugh. The stupid gene strikes again. No matter how many times I iced my hand and wrist it continued to swell. The next morning I headed to urgent care. Double ugh. The nice, funny(he did have a personality!) doctor told me he "thinks" it's just sprained. If it is not better by the end of the week I will have to have an MRI because it could be a ligament issue. Triple ugh. 

  With ice and pretty good medication I have been able to type, and can start to make a fist now. It has got a lot better in the last day, so I am hoping it is just sprained. Now, I read two blogs daily. One, which is my favorite, is by author Jill Shalvis. Jill is a brilliant romance writer. She has an awesome personality that transcends into her blog, and books.  She has incidences also where weird things happen to her that she calls her "Lucy" moments. I'm thinking I need a better name other than Stupid Genes. Can you help me out? That way when I have a story like this I can just refer to that title.

Do you have moments that make you wonder why did I just do that? Do yours make you end up in the ER, or doctor's office? What do you suggest I call these moments?



  1. We all have those "genes"...that's what makes for good campfire stories! Hope you are ok

    1. Ah yes, those great campfire stories! The "Remember when," stories. Those are good, even if embarrassing:O)

  2. This one a hockey game...I was being such a PITA and let my red hair take over and attacked a girl who had the misfortune of getting in my way...and ended up in the goal cage as a result? Oh wait-that was YOU! Hahaha

    1. Ok, Landahl, er Coach Landahl.
      a) I was pushed beforehand, which as I recall, had the girl getting a yellow card.
      2) As punishment, Coach Landahl pulled me out as a forward and put me in goal. I had a shut out!
      e) Stop shedding a negative light on me when I'm trying to get a following here! You're scaring my peeps away! Hahaha

  3. haha - catching up here. We call them Brain Farts. I have them to. I try not to - at my age it could be hazardous to my health!
    Love your blog and comments! HUGHS

  4. Haha Shirley, I guess I could title it "Brain Fart!" Okay if they are hazardous at your age, what would you consider it for my age? Eek! Thanks for your comment, and HUGHS right back atcha!