Thursday, May 23, 2013

Your Possum Is Ready

  Yes, you read that title correctly. Did you miss it? Let me type it again. ‘Your possum is ready.’ Obviously there is a story to go with it. And for all of you, who laugh when I say I live in Podunk, breathe this in, read up, and let it absorb. After you’ve done that we’ll discuss whether or not I’m over exaggerating. So, without further ado, I present you the story about the “possum.”

  The Charmed One has a side business, and every once in a while we’ll place an ad in the Charlotte or Hickory Craigslist alerting people to said business. The Charmed One has this ad set up with a Google phone number for people who have inquiries. Tuesday the Charmed One’s phone rang. The strange ring tone told us it was from the Google number. Before Charmed could answer it went to voice mail. Now Google tries its darnedest to translate the message that is being left, but Google is not set up to handle a southern drawl. Many times the translations are hilarious and not even close to what the person actually said. Enter the message left yesterday…

  “Yea, this is Ronnie. Your possum is ready so if you want I can meet you. Give me a call. But it’s ready.”

  Obviously we thought for sure Google Voice just couldn’t translate the slang, but we both got a chuckle out of the translation. Wouldn’t you know when we listened to the actual message it did say that your possum is ready? Now we are rolling on the floor. The Charmed One’s side business has nothing to do with whatever this person is talking about.

  I scratched my head. What does that mean, your possum is ready? Is this person a taxidermist? If so, who gets an opossum stuffed? I mean they are not the cutest animal in the world.

  A short time later that same number called again. This time the Charmed One answered and told Ronnie he had the wrong number. After hanging up the Charmed One stood with a big grin. “We heard him correctly. Someone’s possum is ready!”

  I rolled my eyes. To each his own, but this was just funny. And yes, this is Podunk. Sometimes I swear weird stuff just finds its way to me.

What would be worse, a possum or this?
  Enter Wednesday. The Charmed One’s phone rang once more with that same number. Once again the Charmed One answered and talked to this possum man. This time Ronnie the Possum Man inquired about something actually related to Charm’s business. After talking for a minute Ronnie recognized the Charmed One’s voice.

  Once the Charmed One hung up the laughs kept coming. Come to find out Ronnie is a sculptor. He had sculpted a possum for a client and must have been confusing the phone numbers. After everything got straightened out The Charmed One got an order from Ronnie the Possum Sculptor.

  Now, do you see the Podunk thing? Honestly. And who wants a sculpture of an opossum? J

  Have you received any strange phone calls lately? What’s the oddest conversation you’ve had recently? Do you think opossum’s are sculpture worthy? Do you believe me now that I live in Podunk?

W.P.I. - Plan your herb garden by grouping herbs according to light, irrigation, and soil requirements. Most herbs enjoy full sun, but a few tolerate shade. Be aware of the growth habits of the plants before you purchase them. Some herbs, such as borage, anise, caraway, chervil, coriander, cumin, dill, and fennel, should be direct-seeded, because they grow easily from seed or do not transplant well. Other herbs, such as mints, oregano, rosemary, thyme, and tarragon, should be purchased as plants and transplanted or propagated by cuttings to ensure production of the desired plant (do not come true from seeds).

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